Chapter Two: Tamahome goes to the Sengoku Jidai
Starring: Sakura, Sesshoumaru, Tamahome, Bara, Shippou, Miroku, Sango, Pudding, Tasuki
What's going on: After being trapped in a room with Ichigo, Tamahome needs to escape. He runs to the Higurashi Shrine and jumps into the well!
Story!
(This one is a LOT longer than the first chapter) And ; is a sweat drop. You know? Good! ^ ^
"There! I think I'm safe now," Tamahome says as he gets out of the well. He realizes he is in the Sengoku Jidai.
As Tama-chan walks into the village, everyone makes the same reaction as they did when Kagome first came! They freaked out because his clothes were Chinese. They kick him out of the village.
So he walks in the forest to fine another Chinese person! Her name is Pu-lin, a least that's what he THINKS she said. (Her name is Pudding.) Tama-chan asks for some money, just as Pudding (or Purin) is about to perform to get his money. Two Chinese money grubbers! Purin is a bandit, a fire breathing monkey! Once she killed everyone because she wasn't auditioned. ;_; ANyway, she blows fire into the sky, and this guy with reddish hair shows up! Another bandit!
"I think I know you," the guy says.
"The guy who is a fire guy! Your name is Billy Bob Thorton, right?"
"*Sarcasm* Yes, that's me, alright!"
"OH I LOVE YOU! AN AUTOGRAPH, PLEEEEEEASE?"
"Of course I'm not Bob Thorton or whatever his name is. I am 'The Guy'. I hate women and milk and water."
"Oh. *Sweat* You are Tasuki, no?"
"Duh?"
Tasuki uses his Tessen on Tama-chan and he is burnt to a crisp.
Tamahome says, "You were under the little red barrier and died!"
"!?! No. While no one was looking, I escaped, and jumped into a well 'cause I was thirsty!"
"Why is there a hand mark on your face like someone slapped you?"
Tasuki replies, "Oh, I asked someone if they had any raisins or dates. ^_^;"
"You're a cheeseball."
Tamahome leaves. A guy named Miroku walks by with a kitten, some little midget fox dude named Shippou, and a girl named Sango. Tama-chan is interested in the little kitten!
"Can I hold your kitty, pweeeeeeeeez?" Tamahome pleads. Sango is confused.
"Okay, then.;"
As he picks up the kitten, a shadow covers up the land. It is Sesshoumaru, the red giant guy, and... Sakura? (She hitched a ride on the red guy to look for... something.) She drinks a can of Vanilla Coke.
"Hey," she says. "What's up? Who are you? Where are you from? When's your birthday? Hello?"
Tamahome becomes confused??? He just laughs nervously, and says, "I am Tamahome! I am mad at my girlfriend and she cheated on me by making out with two other Seishi and some guy who looks like me. Then she locked me up with some crazed cat girl on crack named Ichigo, and she sange the most annoying songs an--"
Sango, Miroku, Shippou, and Kirara the kitten leave.
"Whoa whoa whoa. You have a problem then, neeeee?"
"Oh yes."
"Um, you got a problem, then talk to Bara-chan, nee!"
"You like nee."
"Yes, now shut up so I can get Bara-chan."
"What is your name though?"
"Sakura, nya!"
"Ichigo? AHHHH GOD COME DOWN TO SAVE MEEEE!"
"I am not Ichigo, whoever she is."
"Oh. ;"
Sakura is very confused. She has no idea who this so called Ichigo is.
Tamahome realizes he is free. "FWEEEE! I'M FREE! y00t! I MEAN w00t!!"
Sesshoumaru is still there watching. He wonders if Tamahome is on crack. "He probably is," he thinks.
Sakura goes to the neko village. Everyone there is a neko youkai. Kirara used to live there, but she is visiting it with Sango (they just arrived!). Sakura gets to the village at last. She sees Kirara in human form, but she has kitty ears and a tail.
"Kirara-chan, do you know where Bara-sama is?"
"I think she is at the Mountain Temple. Why not look there?"
Sakura thanks her and goes to the Mountain Temple, a public village place for the neko people. She hears smashing sounds, and... there is Bara smashing rap CDs Kagome gave her to smash. ;
"SHINU RAPPU! SHIIINUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!"
Sakura just sits there. "Okkkayyy..." she thinks. "Bara-chan, please stop smashing those 'rap CDs' and come help this guy with a blue mullet. His name is Tamahome. You can have the last bottle of Vanilla Coke if you come."
Meanwhile Sango is joyriding on Kirara. I think Tasuki left the sake in the forest and Sango drank it... ; "WHOOOOO! C'MON KIRARA!! LET'S RAID... the candy store." Kirara nya-s in Nekonese, "WOOTIES!"
Bara and Sakura go back to Tamahome. He is being terrorized by Shippou! He sees a picture of the crazed cat girl Ichigo, and transforms into her! Only he has a kitsune shippo (tail... in Japanese. Surprising, neee?) instead of a neko shippo. He sings Oops I Did It Again by Britney Spears and Barbie Girl.
Tama-chan is ready to kill this kid! But Sakura the neee demon (no, she's a neko demon!) and Bara show up. "Shippou san, quit acting like you smoked dope and leave Tama-san alone!"
"Okies," Shippou replies. Then he calls out, "Houshi-sama!" He is calling for Miroku for there are girls for him to flirt with. Uh oh.;;;
Miroku comes to the spot. Tamahome says, "THIS FANFICTION SUCKS. TO HELL WITH IT."
So then, all the characters suddenly disappeared and returned to their original stories. All the Inuyasha characters went in a building and it blew up. Guess what happens?
Yep. THEY DIED.
